How to Make Smart Choices  

As Martial Artists, we do our best to condition ourselves to stay calm under pressure and to remain positive in our attitudes and actions. We learn to be proactive in every situation and to search for a solution to every problem we encounter.

When faced with a challenge, many people quickly magnify negatives and often make their problems worse. Being reactive when we’re under pressure can increase stress levels and create unnecessary tension that can exaggerate the negative side effects.

If this becomes a habit, it can affect us on a deeper level. It can change our sleep patterns, cause ill health and do irreparable harm to relationships. Over the long-term, it can lead to a downward spiral and often precedes addictive, negative behaviors.

Our worst decisions are usually made when we are in a negative and reactive state of mind. Our best decisions are usually made when we are in a positive and proactive state of mind.

Martial arts training – and a proper martial arts philosophy – is one of the best ways to achieve and maintain this state.

The practice creates the best conditions for dealing with stress and distractions. The training you do on a weekly basis allows you to be present to enjoy the victories, and ready for challenges or other interruptions.

Don’t leave this stuff to change. Train your body, your mind and your emotions in order to better manage yourself.

The result is more self-discipline, more focus and a better outlook. Train yourself to be proactive rather than reactive and you’ll start to look at things differently.

 

Mat Chat with Shihan Dunn

As a young martial artist coming up through the ranks, I really tried very hard to be a tough guy. I thought it was the most important thing. I fell into the whole trap of posturing, of ego and of trying to impress other people. And then on top of that, I fell into the trap of embracing a culture of violence which, in the long run, did damage to many of my relationships. I found myself over and over in circumstances which hurt me and the people around me.

The martial arts culture I was a part of had no means of addressing this issue. It actually embraced the violence which it was created to protect people against. This is why I had to struggle with it for so long, because while I had direction in my technique and strategy in sparring, I was had no direction at all in how to manage myself as a human being in the world. I constantly felt that I had to demonstrate my toughness wherever I went. I can remember not wanting to drain my ears because I wanted them to get all gnarly, specifically so that others would know me as a guy not to be messed with. And believe me, that was not the limit to what I was willing to do to be the tough guy.

So now, as I look back from a more seasoned, a more mature vantage point, this one of the reasons I’m very adamant about martial artists following Teddy Roosevelt’s dictum: walk softly and carry a big stick. As a student and as a human being, it is a much safer way to move through the experience of learning what it means to be a martial artist.

When I was younger and when people would come up to me and on the street and ask me, “Do you train? Are you a fighter?”, I’d think to myself, “Yeah…I’m the man!” It was the realization of this plan for toughness I had created for myself. It was their validation of me. Now when people come up to me on the street and ask, “are you a fighter? Were you a fighter?”, I literally run away. I say, “No, you got the wrong guy” and I get out of there as fast as I can.

This actually happened to me this morning. Someone came up and asked me this question and I actually – as politely as I could – disengaged and walked away. And when I asked myself, “why is it that I do that?”, I understood something very significant. I realized that it’s because inside I’m a little embarrassed at how I used to be. I have re-prioritzed – there are things more important to me than being tough. And I no longer wish to be associated with what it means to be “the tough guy” – the violence and the aggression and the offensiveness. Furthermore, I understood that I’m also very embarrassed about my peers in the martial arts, what they are actually representing and teaching to their students.

I know that a lot of people are conditioned to want to talk about the fights, and they want to talk about hurting other people, and who can beat up whom and do the most damage to whom – all these kinds of conversations that I don’t want to be a part of anymore. I am sharing this from my own experience, twenty years later, because that is what we as teachers and black belts have signed up to do: to pass on the things we’ve learned so that other people don’t make the same mistakes. In the jiujitsu world, so many brilliant instructors teach so that their students don’t make the same technical mistakes as they did – they genuinely want their students to be better than they were. But it’s troubling to me that they don’t see the importance of correcting their own personal mistakes so that their students can learn from those, too.

I have learned that it is enough to be a nice person, a gentle human being, and know how to protect yourself and your family. That is good enough. And it’s going to take you a lot further than trying to find validation from strangers or peers about how tough you are.

Val Grysko – What Black Belt Means

What the path to black belt means to me? Well, it’s simple. This path means to get better. Not better than others, but better than you was a year ago, better than you was 3 months or two weeks ago, or even to become better than you was yesterday. Become better in both ways, mental and physical.

This is not only about try to kick harder, or throwing a fast punch.It’s, also, about self confidence, self reliance, and self discipline. It’s not about how to fight someone, it’s about how to try to avoid the fight by knowing how to protect yourself. The black belt path is, also, about how to use your limits and get most possible outcome of it. For instance, I could not perform high kick by any of my legs. I was upset, angry and frustrated. Now, still,  I can’t perform high kick by my left leg. But once I realize that’s not the problem for me, I can do something else with it. So, as a result I am using it for something else. Burn kick, for instance. Still, I am performing a lot of stretching to be able to perform high kick.

The words that could describe my journey to where I got now are: fun, interesting, amazing, exciting, addictive, joyful and most importantly healthy and helpful. Also, I would like to mention, that I like every of the four schools I have visited so far, it’s not to say that I like one more than the  other. It’s to say that I like to train in different locations, meet new training partners, as well as, train with those people that I haven’t seen for a while. indeed I am trying  learn  a different training style, and get new partners for training. Also, I am trying to invite some people to attend my “home school”, and… learn, train and progress toward the black belt.

3 Keys to a Complete Martial Arts Life

If you want to lead a healthy lifestyle, you must develop healthy habits. Just as with Jiu-Jitsu, there are no shortcuts.

A successful martial arts lifestyle incorporates three key components:

  • Your physical fitness. You can never out-train bad nutrition, poor rest/recovery habits or poor energy planning. You can be the most talented practioner in the world, but if you neglect your physical health off the mat, you’ll soon pay for it.
  • Your emotional fitness. Are you working on managing your emotional state? Your attitude and temper need attention. Disciplining yourself to approach each partner, each drill, each technique with an open mind is part of achieving emotional balance. Integrate this practice in your daily life – in your family, at the workplace, during your commute – by reflecting on the classroom lessons.
  • Your mental fitness. This is all about your focus and attention. How are you training yourself to listen better? Being mentally fit means that you’re becoming a better communicator. It also means creating the self-discipline to make hard choices you know are good for you. Mental toughness, perseverance, non-quitting spirit…these are all part of your mental fitness.

In the dojo is great, but now is a good time to commit to improving these three areas off the mat. Start simple: increase your water intake, or start eating more fresh fruits and vegetables. Maybe it’s time to eliminate fried foods, junk foods or sugar.

Martial arts brings balance, and so should your habits. Your training in the dojo should be improving your mental, physical and emotional energy, not detracting from it.

So start early. And if you’ve been neglecting one or more of these areas, start right now. By developing good health habits, you’ll be taking important steps toward black belt-level martial arts: you’ll think clearer, have more energy and perform better than ever before. You’ll be a better parent, spouse, friend and martial artist.

GOAL-SETTING FOR 2015

goal-settingThe major reason for setting any goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. It’s not getting a black belt that makes a difference – it’s becoming one.

What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get. That is why goals are so powerful – they are part of the fabric that makes up our lives. And goal-setting is where we create our goals.

Having a goal is powerful, partly because it provides focus. It gives us the ability to hone in on the exact actions we need to perform to achieve everything we desire in life. Goals are GREAT because they cause us to stretch and grow in ways that we never have before. In order to reach our goals we must become better. We must change and grow.

Also, goals provide long-term vision in our lives. We need powerful, long-range vision to help us get past short-term obstacles. Life is designed in such a way that we get to look long-term and live short-term. We don’t have to be OK with how things are right now; we can imagine a time in the future when we are different because of the decisions and choices we are making in the present.

We can dream for the future and live in the present.

Goals aren’t what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect? They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

Next, allow those you trust to hold you accountable. This is where a good teacher or trusted advisor comes in. They hold your feet to the fire so that you remember why you first began the journey. When you most want to quit, they are there. And accountability puts some teeth into the process. If a goal is set and only one person knows it, can there be support? Many times, no. It’s not impossible to do it on your own, but it is much harder.

So take the time to put these pieces together. You’ll be putting yourself in a position of power that will catapult you toward a richer, deeper, more connected life.