10 Ways to Teach Humility

Author GK Chesterton said: “What we suffer from today is humility in the wrong place. A man was meant to be doubtful about himself, but undoubting about the truth. This is now exactly reversed.”

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Many modern young people state there is no absolute truth, but they are supremely overconfident in themselves. So when your son or daughter displays genuine humility, they stand out like the noonday sun. Here’s 10 ways to teach your children humility:

  1. Modeling.
    Never underestimate the power of teaching through example. Humility must be consistently modeled as a lifestyle, not an on-again, off-again example.
  2. Build them up.
    This may sound counter intuitive, but it’s important to understand that humility always comes from a position of belief, strength, and self-assurance.
  3. Encourage and help them to be the very best they can beno matter what they do.
    Humility works best when your child has actually achieved something! Help your child achieve with confidence.
  4. Make sure they understand where their real value comes from.
    It’s easier to sidestep pride or arrogance when children understand that they are valued simply because they are your child, not because they win the race, have a prettier mom (and a smarter dad!), earn a higher income, or score the most points.
  5. Never humiliate your kids.
    Humility cannot be imposed. It’s important not to confuse humiliation, bullying, and beating down with an education in humility.
  6. Expose your child to the great teachers and their stories.
    Jesus, Mother Teresa, Eric Liddell… are all wonderful role models. For Jesus, there are lots of great children’s books about him, as well as about Mother Teresa. Eric Liddell is the man who inspired the movie, Chariots of Fire, a great film for your whole family.
  7. Teach them to serve.
    – Serve the homeless
    – Serve the poor
    – Serve their family
    – Serve one another
  8. Coach them on how to respond.
    Kids need to be taught to say, “please” and “thank you” as much as they need to be taught to brush their teeth and to stay out of the street. So why expect them to know humility without guidance? Here’s an example: “Look, Jr., that’s a great job you did on your science fair project. You deserved to win the prize. Now, this is how you handle it in class tomorrow…let’s practice saying,
    “Thanks!”
    “I like the way my friend, Matt, did his project, too.”
    “I don’t think I could have won without the help of my teacher.”
    You get the idea.
  9. Teach them how to apologize.
    The well-timed and sincere apology is a key component of humility. Sometimes they’re wrong; they need to acknowledge that. Sometimes they overreach and it’s time to back up. Sometimes, they receive unintentional consequences they need to smooth over.
  10. Teach them to give thanks.
    A genuinely grateful heart is a key building block for humility. Gratitude, practiced and eventually owned, enhances humility at every turn. The person saying “thank you” affects a posture that is unassuming and modest. Try this: every time someone offers a compliment, simply say, “thank you.” It’s the kind of response that eventually soaks in, grows roots, and blooms humility.

Habit of Improvement!  

No matter your level or stage of training, seeking improvement on a regular basis creates the conditions for optimal performance.

When it comes to martial arts training, this is one of the foundations to becoming a diligent student. Most of us understand that pursuing higher, broader, longer-rage goals makes more of us than pursuing shallow, short-sighted goals.

What you become in the pursuit of a challenging goal transforms you more than an easy one.

The black belt mindset is one in which we choose to pursue excellence rather than accept mediocrity.

We’re not talking about becoming a perfectionist with an all-or-nothing approach to challenges or goals. We’re talking about preparing well through physical, mental and emotional training to be able to optimize the results we get in our lives. The outcome is a continuous, continuing life-long journey of personal growth and improvement.

Areas of improvement can include:

  • Martial arts – how can you improve your attitude and attention to become a more complete martial artist?
  • Personal relationships – how can you become a better, more tuned-in listener with family and friends?
  • Career – where can you use your time more effectively and efficiently?
  • Finances – how can you save, invest and spend wisely?
  • Emotional mastery – how can you create the disciplines for better self-control?

Either excellence or mediocrity can become a habit. Which would you rather create?

Excellent health would give you greater energy to train and do the things you want to do each day. Excellence in emotional mastery would mean more self-control and self-confidence.

Both daily disciplines and daily errors are compounded over time, and it is your responsibility to make sure they’re adding up to something valuable. This is why we believe in the pursuit of a challenging, worthy goal like Black Belt, both for you and those around you.

Strive to bring out the best in yourself and others through constant and never-ending learning, on and off the mat.

Talk About Training

How Do You Talk About Your Training?

Being a student of the martial arts is a commitment to self-study. And as any serious student discovers, learning is an incremental process fraught with challenges as well as successes.

Is that how you think about yourself – as a student? Because you should. Of course you’re learning about self-defense and fitness, but also about the deeper lessons of the journey from white belt to black belt.

Halloween Safety

Halloween is one of the most fun holidays, especially for kids. Dressing up as your favorite character and free candy, what could be better? It’s also a day when general awareness of our surroundings is important. As a reminder for Halloween, and really everyday, some tips to pass on to your children:

– Always practice identifying a safe place quickly
– Practice resetting awareness as you enter new areas
– Never allow children to answer door without an adult
– Teach your children a “safety stance” and “personal fence”. Parents and teachers can readily see if there is a problem from a distance
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We recommend trick-or-treating in groups and always having an adult present. But if you have bigger kids that are going off on their own, remind them of these things:
– Always stay with the group
– Never take short-cuts in dark alleys – stay in well-lit, populated areas
– Discuss their route before they leave
– Make sure they have a cell phone and check in
– Wait to eat candy until the adults can check it

And if you’re staying home to answer the door for all the trick-or-treaters, some good reminders about all the little ones visiting: A lot of little people will be visiting your home, please be patients with them. The child who grabs more than one piece of candy may not have the fine motor skills to grab just one. The child that looks disappointed at your candy selection may have a food allergy. The child that does not say trick-or-treat or thank you may be non-verbal.

Don’t know where to go on Halloween? Here are some good lists of Halloween activities in Brooklyn and the city: